My ass is so worn out today, more than EVER. Everything is just so overwhelming. Fighting with the insurance company to get Tonys injections...the script is for 60 (2 a day for 30 days) BUT the insurance co. says they are too expensive. They gave me 4 days. So I had to call them, call the Dr., call the hospital, call the pharmacy, multipy by 2. Ok that was half of my day. Tony was HORRIBLE yesterday! So tired and sick. I just felt so bad. I had to leave for quite a while. My Dr. sent me to UC to see a special Dermatologist. I am now diagnosed with "Prurigo". hmmmmm all I know is I'm itching all the time and embarrassed for anyone to see my legs and arms. I am itching to death!!!!! I was prescribed Methotrexate, a Chemo med that is also prescribed for arthritis and severe Psoriasis and some cancers that didn't respond to other treatments. I have tried everything else..EVERYTHING for three years, I don't have any other options but I'm not happy with this med and all the side effects and tests. I feel like shit. The Prurigo can be caused by different things but anxiety and stress does not help it. Today is the worst it has ever been. Even Tony is feeling sorry for ME. ahhhhh That's just not right!!
So the tears have flowed today. Tony is getting depressed and is just overwhelmed. All the meds and Dr. visits are so expensive. I was going back to work Monday and now I'm laid off next week. (just for a week and I really need to get used to this med anyway and rest) Anthony came to cut our grass today and a belt came off of mower AGAIN. So Tony started saying how everything was too much for us and we needed to move. I really don't know what else I can do. HE went out and helped. ughhhhhh...HE shouldn't be doing anything right now! He can't hardly stay awake for more than 2 hours. This place was HIS dream when he recovered from his nephrectomy 3 years ago. I'm NOT going to let him give up his dream. So what, our garden is weeds, our pond is low, our mower is screwed up...so what? We have each other. I made him dinner, exactly what he asked for, we walked out and got the mail together earlier, and walked the trash out this evening. We held hands and really really enjoyed the breeze and the peace. What a perfect evening. Maybe my tears will go away some tomorrow because holy cow they couldn't get much worse today. Last night was overwhelming and today has only been a little better..PLEASE pray that tomorrow is A LOT better!!!
Thank you Jean for the Kroger and CVS gift cards. We have been keeping CVS in business! I need some sleep! Tony just went to bed. Tomorrow has to be better!! Im sure it will.....
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