LAST DAY of first cycle of IL-2

I was trying hard to be sunshiny today, Tony was feeling a little better. We were trying to sleep in like usual (the nurses joke with us daily about how they can just leave us alone ALL morning long because we're late sleepers, and that the room is "the cave" lol) when the doctors all came in, they told us Tony will only get 1 more dose of IL-2 today, she said Tony's body cannot handle any more. His blood levels are not good at all. His creatinin in his urine is "waay tooooo highhhh". She also said because that level is too high he cannot go home until it gets normal because he cannot get his Lovenox injections with that high level, they give Heparin drip (IV) in the hospital but we can't go home with that. So we might be here until Monday she said. (Please God...let us go home Sunday...Amen) Then the nurse came in and said we are now in isolation...because Tony might have something called "C. difficile" and that it is very very contagious. Especially in ICU. People get this when they are on antibiotics for a while, on Chemo, immune system is weak....that's Tony! So they wear a gown to come in here, wash hands before and after. I have to wash a lot. Be careful sharing Tony's bathroom. Older people and children are more susceptible.
They gave him his IL-2 at 3pm. By 5pm ALL of the side effects that I have told you about were in FULL effect. He was itching so bad, they gave him 3 medications for it, I was scrubbing his back and neck with ice water soaked wash cloths. The doctor ordered him some Hydrocortisone cream. (I have read EVERYTHING about IL-2 and Proluekin..I remembered reading that you shouldn't use hydrocortisone or cortisone with IL-2) The nurse told the doctor, she did some research and found out nope...no hydrocortizone cream should be used. (Our friends from Europe gave Tony a T-shirt once that said "my wife: a walking encyclopedia", they always thought it was so funny that I research EVERYTHING") I don't know what would have happened but I was glad they didn't use the cream!
I had them bring an ice pack I put on his neck, that helped some.
Tony was so sick today. He looked worse than I have ever seen him. EVER. I think that's why I was so down and sad and overwhelmed today. He looked worse than he looked when he had his kidney removed...it brought back a flood of memories. I wanted to forget them. I almost had! Tony's lips were GRAY. He looked like death, sunken dark rimmed eyes, so thin. I hate it... HATE it.........
I was just nervous today, my hands were shaking so bad I could hardly text or write. So if I didn't send someone something I should have...sorry. This coronary spasm thing that I have going on does NOT respond well to stress. Or lack of sleep.
It is now almost 10 hrs after his last dose and Tony is still itching, pressure is still low and he is trying to rest. He is finished with the cycle of IL-2 for now. He has to wait 2 months for a CAT scan. Then IF the tumor is smaller or the same..He will do all of this again. I have talked to several people that have gone through this and read that if the tumor shrinks, the earliest that this may be noticeable on scan is 4 weeks after. But they can see more in 8 weeks. Tony's body is tore up inside and it takes that long to get back to normal. So I'm trying to NOT be pissed about that and trying to learn patience. TRYING.
A friend that me and Tony work with sent this to me yesterday ..I read it to Tony tonight and he thought it was awesome, so I'm sharing it ...anything to make us feel better right now..

Just read the blog-my heart goes out to you, but at the same time it is such insperation (for all who are so thankful that we aren't currently in your circumstance) to see the love and selflessness you exhibit-when so much of what we see everyday is selfishness and disregard for others.
It's such a beautiful reflection of who you are, and how you fight thru this together, the world would be a better place with more Tony's and Teri's--makes me thankful to have the pleasure of knowing you. I'll keep You and Tony in my prayers. God bless! Please call if I can help you in any way-it would be my pleasure!

Thank You! That made me cry and feel very blessed. YOU know who you are and Bless you!
Dear Heavenly Father...Hold Tony in your loving hands tonight and help heal him..I need him..we all need him..and comfort him beyond belief, he has been through more in his life than anyone should..please comfort him and show him your love and peace...please let his tumor get smaller...please Father...and please slow my heart beat down enough to get some rest tonight...help me just breathe...
And someone very close to me is suffering from a very broken heart..please help heal it fast, my heart breaks when his does..and I just want to give him a very very long hug...hug him for me God.....Amen