Really...it's ONLY Tuesday afternoon??

After the last blog and Tonys dose at 11. His blood pressure dropped some, he was so sick again. AND we had the lazy nurse that sent us to ICU last time. So of course..at 3am she sent us back down to ICU. Some of the other nurses did everything they could to keep him on the Oncology floor, they gave him more meds, took his pressure when he was awake and NOT directly after his IL-2 and Demerol etc. Anyway so we are in ICU now, Tony slept through the whole process..he REALLY didn't wake up much at all. They had me a recliner and blankets and pillows all ready for me. I hadn't slept yet. They got him all hooked up and started giving him Neo to raise his blood pressure. They finally figured out that they needed to move all the limits on the monitors because they had to keep running in every 5 minutes because his pressure would drop below 80 and it would beep beep beep. The nurse was pretty good last night, he got a lot of info about IL-2 info from me because they don't really know on this floor. I slept a tiny bit after 5:30am. They came in to give him his IL-2 again at 7am. He slept. I slept. At 9am HOLY SHIT, Tony was nauseous, started throwing up again,and was freezing and shaking (they call this rigors), I covered him, again and again. I gave him my cover and froze just to get him warm. I called the nurse first for nausea meds, then his pressure dropped, called her for neo. Then I called her for Demerol when he started shaking and rigor. She said they didn't have any ordered, and what they did have ordered for this side effect they didn't have any...(breathe Teri and try really hard NOT to F!@#$ing start screaming)...I started crying..Tony was shaking so bad I couldn't understand him. I was laying over him some to keep him warm when I told her through my tears and teeth "YOU better get some NOW if you have to run upstairs to his old nurse for some" and "CALL the pharmacy NOW". She called both places and the doctor. Another nurse peeked her head in and asked if Andrea (his nurse) was in here...i said "NO, SHE BETTER BE GETTING HIM HIS DEMEROL". She said she would help. Finally (20 minutes ughhh) they came in with some...put it in his IV and 30 seconds later he was warm and fast asleep. And I was SO PISSED. I told her I didn't want that to EVER happen again. He is here for treatment, they have protocol for what to do and what to give for EVERY side effect and I would suggest that they check NOW and make sure they have everything they need BEFORE his 3pm dose. She is now carrying around a dose of Demerol in her pocket. Tony hasn't eaten since 3pm yesterday, he did ask me to get him a diet Dew...I did. About 1 Tony started sweating, and was hot. This wasn't a "normal" sweat. It was rolling off of him, the doc said his kidney is not functioning much right now and the IL-2 prevents fluid from being absorbed so it is coming out of his pores. I have changed his sheets twice today and I washed him off and help change his pants and gown. I had the nurse order him a fan, they said we probably wouldn't get one....I think I harassed them enough...they got him one! I'm freezing BUT as long as Tony is comfy! Then Tony had to go to the bathroom, NOW! Of course..no nurses, I unhooked everything except his Neo...grabbed a nurse from the hall and got him to the toilet with like 0 seconds to spare. Holy Cow I am worn the hell out...someone said, I think Tonys friend Jim on FB chat, that is was almost hump day....WHAT it's NOT even Wednesday YET?? you have got to be kidding me! :(
It is 4:20 right now and he is getting his fourth dose of IL-2 this week and is sleeping soundly through it! Oh and did I mention that when Tony wants to change or get washed up or anything..he wants it RIGHT NOW? Dear God...please give me strength, I need it now more than I EVER have needed it. Please help me with understanding and compassion and patience too....And wrap your loving arms around Tony and help comfort him this week...I ask this in your name always.......always