Tuesday?????

Tony is usually up and getting around some on Tuesday's after his IL-2. NOT today! He was happy that he could open and close his hands this morning, because he couldn't all day yesterday. Then he got the idea that he didn't need to take any pain medicine because of course he knows more than I do...I warned him! By 3pm he was in a LOT of pain again and just sleeping or trying to get comfortable. Actually he spent ALL day in pain and trying to get comfy. He did get a shower today and then went to the couch, I helped him turn over about 10 times because he was in too much pain to move most of the time. He still had a fever (not too high)so I kept giving him Tylenol and then I gave him his pain meds...I told him NOT to argue with me about it or I was not going to help him anymore! That was it, he took his pills, I held his cup so he could drink some Gatorade and water because he still isn't eating hardly anything. He is still having a hard time holding a cup of water or the TV remote.
I've been feeling kind of down in the dumps today...it's just a very VERY lonely sad feeling to have a very sick sleeping husband for days. I just kind of feel forgotten about. Today I just feel like WOW I don't know how I keep going and doing and taking care of all by myself...I dunno..that's just how I feel today. I'm exhausted. I have had a headache that won't go away but I HAVE to keep going...there isn't any other choice. I HAVE TO. I'm not sure how much advil I can keep taking safely, but it's NOT working..ughhh. It's been raining ALL day and storming which isn't helping this feeling... The 29 days that I have sat or slept in a chair in the hospital over the past 3 months hasn't helped either...OK TOMORROW will indeed be a better day..It really HAS to be!
I sat in the living room with Tony and watched both of the "Narnia" movies, (Tony even watched some...more than I thought he would) Made myself a frozen pizza (yuk) and then I read some of my book and finished the laundry. Oh and I changed Tony's sheets because when the Tylenol gets rid of Tony's fevers, he sweats..alot. I just helped Tony back into bed and gave him his meds and I hope he gets some rest tonight. He is sleeping in one of our extra bedrooms because of this sleep disorder that he has (REM sleep behavior disorder syndrome) and it gets worse when he takes medication...I got a little tired of being hit in my sleep and kicked, so now when that gets too bad he has another bed to go to. I think I need to try to get out of here for a few minutes tom. or Thurs....just for some air. Just to take a little breather. I hope Tony will be feeling better soon....He is soooo tired of being sick, and I really need my Tony back. I really really want him back...I miss him :(
Please keep us in your prayers, if he isn't feeling better tomorrow I am calling his doctor. I don't think he should still be feeling this bad...it worries me.

O Christ Jesus,
when all is darkness
and we feel our weakness and helplessness,
give us the sense of Your presence,
Your love, and Your strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
in Your protecting love
and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry us,
for, living close to You,
we shall see Your hand,
Your purpose, Your will through all things_Amen